Unpredictability

“Life is unpredictable and you never know what is coming next. Don’t ever get too comfortable. Always be ready for changes.”

This week has been a bit hectic…

When I thought I wouldn’t get sick, my partner got sick, which I was affected slightly.

When I thought that my car is perfectly fine, the battery went flat twice this week.

When I thought that work is stable, someone decides to not cooperate.

When I thought I have sent my completed job application, I forgot to attach my resume.

Besides life’s unpredictability. I want to write down my greatest problem. My goal has always been seeking the next comfort zone to reach. But after I entered a comfort zone and if the next comfort zone is not easily reachable… I tend to let loose. This is not good. I am not ready for changes. Especially changes in my habit. When we are younger, we were taught to delay our gratification, we often have to work hard to reach a reward for ourselves. But as we grow older and more independence was given to us, it is also easier for us to be distracted and seek for other gratifications.

Self-discipline has never been so difficult when you became an adult. It takes extra effort to remain goal-oriented and delay our gratification even longer.

 

 

Missing Home

It has been my 7th year away from my parents, my home back in Asia. I have to say, things aren’t easy when you are away from home. No matter how independent I can be, the fact that I am away from my parents, it makes me incomplete. hong-kong

The other day, my Mother texted me saying “I used our family photo taken during the cruise as my wallpaper and whenever I looked at it, I feel happy. [Following is translated] The biggest satisfaction being a mother is to bring happiness and joyfulness to my brother and I.” I am not sure how many people can relate to this, but I am sure that all parents in the world want the best for their child – my Mother certainly does. She has always worked the hardest to make sure we don’t have to worry about anything. No matter how much she thinks she doesn’t live up the “traditional” mother stereotype, she is the best.

I have always trying to be the perfect son for my parents, hoping that they don’t have to worry about me (at least) when I am away from home. At the moment, I just hope that I can continue what I am building abroad and, hopefully, one day, we can share the achievement. And lastly, be re-united in one city/country!

Quarter Century Mark

When I was young, birthday has always, ALWAYS, been a HUGE thing. I would hope that everyone knows it and I hope that everyone will remember it. Usually, on my previous birthdays, I would literally take a day off just to relax and “celebrate”. 

Upon my birthday last week, I realised I didn’t even know time flies so fast that it’s already my birthday! So it was too late to take any leave and a little too late to celebrate it like a youngster. 

All I hoped was that my closest and dearest friends would just leave a message to me, and that way, I can slowly filter who’s important in my life. 

I used to think sayings like “you don’t have time for everyone” is wrong. But now that I’m fully occupying myself with work and study, I do understand that it could happen. 

This year, as usual, I am very graceful for my family and closest friends to be around me. There’s nothing better than having these people in your life. I would say I have never cherish them enough. My dream would be able to celebrate my birthday with my family around. It’s always a pity that a family cannot stay together within the same city. And I guess this does makes me cherish them more than ever. 

Anyways, happy birthday to myself. It’s been a pleasure to be with you for the past 25 years. Let’s work hard together!

Life planning

“What’s meant for you will never miss you.” From my supervisor’s grandfather.

During our supervision meeting, my supervisor asked me if there are any wellbeing issues that he should be aware of. Well, my answer was that, regarding the job itself, there’s not a single problem. However, in terms of life… I am a bit lost. As I am about to hit mid-20s, I am trying to plan out my life as much as possible. For example, how to change my job from a contract to a permanent role? When will I get married? Should I do it during or after my PhD journey? How about kids? When am I going to have them? I am worried as I have been working in the disability sector previously, one of the major worries is having kids at a later age. So many things going on!

I was very lucky that my supervisor told me his life story and told me this quote. I am fully aware of this quote. It’s widely applied in the Western and Eastern culture. But as I am focused on the appeared-to-be “bigger” issues in life, I often forgot how tiny I am in this universe and my belief that everything follows a certain order. About 8 years ago, I have been taught techniques to relax and to worry less. But even until now, I can’t do it. It’s like my nature – keep on planning until I walk through that plan myself.

Anyways…! Planning could come later on.. But at the moment, I am just going to focus on my upcoming long-due family trip!! IT’S GONNA BE GREAT. I know I am going to bring work along with me… but let’s hope that my mind can get off it from time to time !

Meaning in Medicine

“While we have all the means, we have lost the meaning in Medicine.” One of the many medical professionals in Hong Kong.

While pursuing a PhD in Public Health, you often question the work of your own and of other professionals in the field.

The person who said this has noted the phenomenon that while the technological advancement has benefited many people in their practice, in being more efficient and ensured higher success rate in saving one’s life. But you also have people who are treating patients just like any other ‘cases’ out there. The level of human connection between our medical professionals and patients have decreased.

I think it’s good to always remind yourself the meaning of your job and what was the reason why you took this job or wanted to be in this job. 

My personal aim is to help those in need in means that I am capable of, which is my current job and my research phd. What’s yours ? 

New job – New beginning – New lens

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view […] until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” – Atticus Finch, a character from To Kill a Mockingbird.

To Kill a Mockingbird is certainly a classic and an important memory to my high school student life. This was part of my year 12 English prescribed texts. *Memories overloaded* It is a classic that I never fully understand until I started working.

As I was saying in the previous post, I started a new job! (Woohoo!) Due to the nature of my job, I cannot disclose what job it is exactly. But what I can talk about is my journey for rediscovering myself.

This world is full of judgments. There is no right or wrong answer into this. I believe that jumping into conclusion is a form of heuristics that we employ as humans. A heuristic is any approach to problem-solving, learning, or discovery that employs a practical method not guaranteed to be optimal or perfect, but sufficient for the immediate goals (Kahneman, Tversky, & Slovic, 1982). Technically, it allows us to saves us time and effort. Within the realm of my job, there are many situations where my judgment to whether this case needs to be appraised is needed. I have only begun this job for 2 weeks, but the number of times that I need to question my moral judgment is unlimited.

I wish to believe there is a little faith in humanity, and more importantly, people do take care of themselves and their family. But according to my seniors and supervisors, you have to be sceptical. As much as you want to trust people’s words, but you cannot always. This has gone against my values. But this is my job! So! Suck it up bro!

Anyways, to bring up this quote from To Kill a Mockingbird really is a reminder to myself that although I have to be sceptical of the cases in front of me, I would never fully understand ones’ point of view if I jump into conclusion. BUT HEY. Don’t take me wrong. I love my job. I am making differences to people’s life every day. But it’s good to always remind myself what are my values and I need to remain tough on it.

IMG_1895.JPG

There is a special story about this silver duckie. The founder of this duckie, Mr Lam, gave me this duckie as a gift. He believes that “restless activity proves the man”. At the age of 92, he demonstrated this through his consistent effort. I carry this duckie with me all the time to remind myself to be patient and persist.

A little ConfuciOnism~

“己所不欲, 勿施於人”. = “what do you not want to be done to yourself, do not do to others.” – Confucius.

cropped-202931-576x450-yinyang.jpg

It has been 3 weeks since I last written… I have to admit that I am a bit lazy but that’s because I started a new job! This would be a topic for another day.

Today, I want to talk about this quote by Confucius. If I have to summarise what my parents have taught me in one quote. This is it.

As a child, you would never think about the consequences of what you do others. All you know is that “I like to do it this way. So what?” But as I grow older, I realise this wisdom has been guiding my life all the way. HOWEVER, there is a twist to it. I have to admit that I thought I truly understood this rule. But I haven’t been. I realise that there are often situations where I think what I do would benefit others or even both of us, so I expect others to do things the same way. It’s quite simple, isn’t it?! But this is not exactly living the ‘golden rule’. What happened is that in my moral realm, I might have determined what is the right thing to do. Therefore, I would not do that to others. However, if I expect others to do the same as me, then I am placing my expectations on others, and that might not be what others want to do.

Oh gosh. My brain nearly exploded. I thought I would just write about something that I am proud of, which is living to what my parents have taught me for years!

But another thing that I learnt from my parents is that: we all know that this world is imperfect, but it could be a little prettier if we all think about the consequences of our actions. I must admit, this was, and still remains, a tiring process. But if you practice it frequent enough, it becomes a habit. Yes, this goes back to my own expectations. But I will be sure not to pose my expectations on others. This is not beneficial to anyone.

OH WELL. At least I got this sorted out. And I will be sure to be reflexive on principles and values that I THOUGHT I have a good grasp of.